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Me and Cassandra imbibed dissimulation with our mother’s milk, she being as bent as an MPs expense claims. We learned at her feet the art of lying through our teeth. You on the other hand had the misfortune to be born middle class and with honest, if not altogether perfect, parents, your Dad excepted of course.’ By this time I could scarcely contain my urge to giggle. ‘See, you can hardly stop yourself smiling. How was your day?’ I gave up the unequal struggle and sipped my wine, happy in her company as always. She then revealed how Cassandra was having to appear at the local Magistrates Court in a few days time. ‘I do not know if you are aware that Cassandra recently worked in the local supermarket?’ I had not known this about her sister. ‘It was a brief flirtation with gainful employment other than her normal calling as an adult entertainer. Cassandra, as I have told you before, has a libido that is the nearest thing to perpetual motion on the planet. Working of course militates. Mother explained to me that I was not to wash her fancy lingerie in thewashing machine. She realized she had to teach me how to wash moreintimate apparel. It was at this time she bought me an apron. It wasn'tjust a half apron that ties around the waist but a full halter stylethat is placed over the head. I liked it. It made me feel like I got towear a uniform like Mother.She started calling me her little homemaker. I didn't have time forbaseball. I had piano practice, house cleaning, homework, and cookingto take care of. I liked being Mother's little homemaker. The boysnever invited me out to play anyway so why not make my Mother proud ofme? One day I was wearing the apron over my shirt and jeans and spilled thelaundry soap on my pants. I took them off quickly and put them in thewashing machine. Looking down at my bare legs under that apron kind oflooked like I was wearing a dress. I don?t know why but I took a pairof Mother?s tights and put them on, rolling them up as I?d seen.
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